Save Tonight
by kellsmarie
Summary: This is a oneshot based on the song Save Tonight by EagleEye Cherry. It's told from Ryan's point of view. It takes place at the end of the summer after graduation. It was written before the finale aired.


Okay, this is a one shot. It was inspired by Save Tonight by Eagle-Eye Cherry, that's the song in the story. It is written as Ryan's thoughts, so hopefully it's not too confusing. Please review if you don't read, but don't leave a "post soon" because I have no where to go with this…Thanks!

I check over everything one last time, making sure everything is perfect. Perfect for her. I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for her. I would've gone out with Sandy and Kirsten, the way they offered. Instead, I cut out after dinner, just so I could beat her back here. I told them I had some things to do, but god knows I've been ready to leave for weeks now. I've been ready since the night of graduation. And now, the last night of summer, I finally feel that apprehension everyone says you're supposed to feel. When you know that this is the last night before your life changes forever. When you're finally out on your own, and it scares the hell out of me.

I hear her car in the driveway as I light the last candle. Okay, so it's perfect. It really is. Candlelight, the two of us, the poolhouse; how else would we spend our last night together? I've been dreading this night ever since she talked to me that night of graduation, but now this feels right. Like this is what should happen. We should be parting ways now. Leaving for good. Leaving what we had, and what neither of us will ever find again.

The door opens without a sound, but I can feel that she's here now. She looks breathtakingly gorgeous. In fact, I don't think she's ever looked better to me. I feel that pang of jealousy again for whatever guy will have her next. For whatever guy will hold her in his arms, kiss her lips, feel her skin against his own. And now, I realize that for one more night, I am that guy. So why should I just wish it all away?

Her tearstained face glows in the dim light. She gives me a weak, forced smile and I can see her eyes well with tears once again. Oh, god. I can't handle it if she cries again. We promised each other that tonight wouldn't be depressing. It would be a night to remember what we had. To make sure we cherish it forever.

Go on and close the curtains  
'cause all we need is candlelight  
You and me and the bottle of wine  
gonna hold you tonight, oh yeah

"Hey…" Her tiny voice snaps me back from the memories. I don't want to remember what has brought me here tonight. I just want to forget, not have to worry about it again. She steps inside, shivering from the rain outside. Yeah, rain in Newport. How reflective of the atmosphere.

"Hey…" I pull her close, wrapping an arm around her waist , kissing her gently. I pull back to see the tears streaming down her face. She leans her wet face into my shoulder, sobbing openly in front of me.

"I'm so sorry, Ryan… I know we agreed, but I can't…" Her voice trails off as she tries to get a hold of herself. I shake my head, pulling her closer. I knew this would be hard for her, hard for us both. But it was her decision. It was always her decision. I tip her chin up slowly, forcing her to look my way. I watch as she tried to fake that smile again, failing miserably.

"It's okay. I understand… We don't have to do this…" She shakes her head, kissing me once again. The passion is there, the same passion I've felt all summer. I thought she would be more reluctant. I didn't think she would be this… easy. Okay, so she's not easy. She just wants this to be as planned, so we won't have to say goodbye.

I pull her closer, lifting her up as she wraps her legs around my waist. I take in her scent, her soft kisses, the feel of her body. I never want to forget this, any of this. At the same time, I know it would be impossible to forget someone like Marissa Cooper. As I set her down gently on the bed, I remember that night so long ago, when my life changed forever.

Well, we know I'm going away  
And how I wish, I wish it weren't so  
so take this wine and drink with me  
let's delay our misery...

**Flashback**

I watch as she flops down onto the bed, laughing softly. I smile, just seeing her there, her gown still on as I pull my own off. She turns to face me, running a hand through her hair. "I can't believe we did it…" I laugh, nodding my head. We both know that no one had their doubts about her graduating until a couple months ago. I was never expected to make it this far.

I lie down next to her, watching as she effortlessly sheds the maroon gown and pulls herself on top of me. Her lips run along my neck as I close my eyes. I want this moment to last, this night to last. I pull her down on top of me, stopping her as she looks back at me confused. She lays down on my chest, sighing deeply as she realizes that what I want is her, not sex. She's always told me that I make her feel loved that way, letting her know it's okay just to sleep with her in the literal sense and not the figurative all the time.

I run a hand aimlessly through her hair, feeling her chest rise against my own. Our hearts beat in sync eventually, as the air hangs silent around us. "Next year's going to be just as great… Us together… at Berkley…" My voice trails off as she lifts herself up off of me, turning to face me.

"About Berkley…" She bites her lip, her fear evident. I sit up suddenly, not knowing what to expect. What can I expect? She's thrown me for so many loopholes in the past. My mind starts to wander thinking of the possibilities. Is she pregnant? Sick? Doesn't want to be together any longer? I watch as she opens her mouth, trying to start many times before succeeding. "I'm not going.

Save tonight  
And fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
Tomorrow I'll be gone  
Save tonight  
And fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Not going? Last April we had agreed to go together. We had both visited the campus. She had received a scholarship. We were happy with our decision, right? Or was it just me? Was I not seeing how she truly felt? Was she just feigning her excitement? "What do you mean you're not going? Is everything alright?"

"I was planning on it, all spring. Until I got my letter from Colombia. They have a great design program… just like Berkley has their architectural building for you. It's best for me to go there, where I can get the best education possible…"

"What about us? I thought we were going to be together… Do you realize how far away Colombia is from Berkley? It's not like we can visit each other over the weekends." My head was spinning with everything she said as she nodded her head slowly. So she knew that this was going to happen for a couple of months and didn't bother to tell me?

"This doesn't change how I feel about you. I will always love you. But I need to do this. For me."

**Present Day**

There's a log on the fire  
and it burns like me for you  
Tomorrow comes with one desire..  
to take me away, it's true

And that's when I knew that things would never be the same. Things were ending. We would be 2,000 miles away from each other. No relationship can last 2,000 miles, not even our own. We would just be putting ourselves through hell.

So that's when we decided to act like nothing was happening. We spent the summer the way we had planned. We hung out constantly, spent almost every night together. We didn't mention school in the fall, or talk about how we would leave. Things would stay simple between us. Until tonight.

We had decided we would wait to say our goodbyes until tomorrow, when we both really left. Tonight, she would spend the night for the last time. We would stay in the poolhouse, as a sort of memorial of what we had. We wouldn't try to force things to happen, but we wouldn't talk about the morning as well.

It ain't easy to say goodbye  
darling please don't start to cry  
'cause girl you know I've got to go, oh  
and Lord I wish it wasn't so

I pull her closer, thinking about tomorrow, like I had promised not to. She had said she wouldn't cry though. And she did cry. I kiss her hard as she tugs gently on the hem of my wife beater. Her fingers move up to undo the buttons of my shirt, as my own go to pull her shirt off. Her lips leave mine for a second as I get her shirt off, then mine leave hers as she removes my own.

I pull back for a minute, taking in her beauty. Again, I don't want to forget a thing. I want to remember her this way forever. No matter what happens, I never want to forget my first. She wasn't my first the way people normally talk about their firsts. She was my first true love. She was the one thing I told myself I would never let get away. And, here I am, letting her leave me.

She fumbles with my belt buckle as my hands move down to help her. I cup them gently in my own, letting hers drop away before I undo my belt. I let my hands wander to her jeans, unbuttoning them slowly. I move my lips to her neck, kissing all the way down to her bare stomach. She moans softly, causing me to smile. In all the turmoil there is in our lives, she can always make me smile.

Save tonight  
And fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
Tomorrow I'll be gone  
Save tonight  
And fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
Tomorrow I'll be gone

Little things this summer have reminded me of her. I hope that I still remember little things about her next year. The way she would always get her way with me and get the first shower in the morning. The way she would come back out, her hair soaking as she would lay back down, letting it fall in my face. The way she would giggle as I would pull her close, tickling her gently. The way she would grow serious once again with a single kiss. I want to remember the mornings when I wake up alone. All alone.

I slowly unhook her bra, moving my lips back to hers. She slips her tongue into my mouth and I groan. God, I'm going to miss this so much. Not just the sex, but being with her. Knowing that she's there. Because I need her. It scares the hell out of me that I need her this much, but I do. I really do.

She gently plays with the waistband of my boxers and I laugh a little. "God, what a tease…" She laughs softly, nodding her head. She looks so cute now, so innocent. I'm going to miss her so much… Knowing that I can't come home to her everyday. It kills me to not know how long it'll be until I see her again.

Tomorrow comes to take me away  
I wish that I, that I could stay  
but girl you know I've got to go, oh  
and Lord I wish it wasn't so

She collapses onto my chest, breathless. My heart races as my breathing begins to steady a little bit more. She smiles as I gently caress her hair. "That… was… amazing…" I laugh a little, nodding my head as I hear her voice again.

"You're amazing." We lay there a while longer, all of the unsaid goodbyes between us. I sigh, shifting my weight under her. "I'm going to miss you, you know…" She sighs, lifting her head up to look at me.

"Ry, please don't start…"

"No, Riss. Listen to me. We're taking turns. This is my turn. Spending the next few years apart from you, I don't think I can handle it. I'm worried about you, I'm worried about how you'll do all alone. I don't see why you won't just go with me, but I understand that this is what you want. I just want you to know that nothing changes. I will always love you."

Save tonight  
And fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
Tomorrow I'll be gone  
Save tonight  
And fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
Tomorrow I'll be gone  
Save tonight  
And fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow  
Tomorrow I'll be gone  
Save tonight  
And fight the break of dawn  
Come tomorrow

She nods her head, her eyes filling with tears again. She takes a shaky breath, giving me a smile. For the first time tonight, it's not incredibly forced.

"Well, then it's a good thing you won't have to worry about that." I stare at her, confused. What does she mean I don't have to worry about it? Of course, I have to worry about it. We leave tomorrow.

Tomorrow I'll be gone

"What?" She laughs softly, resting her chin on my chest. I see the way her eyes sparkle, she's actually happy for the first time in I don't know how long.

Tomorrow I'll be gone

"I thought it was my turn…" I laugh, nodding my head for her to go on. "I've thought about it too. Sure, Colombia is the best school in terms of what I'm going to do, but it's not worth it. It's not worth the pain that it's going to cause me to say goodbye to you. It's not worth being alone for the next few years. I can't stop loving you, I've tried before. It's just impossible. So, instead of fighting it, I gave into it. I declined the offer from Colombia last week. I'm going to Berkley. With you."

Tomorrow I'll be gone

I lay there, speechless. She isn't leaving? She's staying? So, we will be together? My mind's racing as she leans in, kissing me again. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Tomorrow I'll be gone

"Because I like the element of surprise."

Save Tonight.. Save Tonight.. Save Tonight.. Save Tonight

"But the tears… the crying?"

Oh that's Right

"It was out of happiness, knowing that this wasn't goodbye." I smile, bringing her closer. I kiss her softly as she giggles. She pulls back, leaving kisses between her words.

Save Tonight.. Save Tonight.. Save Tonight

"You owe me. Four… years… of …. nothing… but… this…"


End file.
